All I Ate This Week Was Charcuterie Meat

~Maddy~

Let me tell you, I am more sodium logged than I think I’ve ever been, and I’m so thirsty that I have basically had to live in the bathroom.

And it’s worth it. If you’ve ever experienced charcuterie in all its glory, you understand.

Charcuturie is actually a method of preserving meats in their own fat (plus a whole lot of salt and sometimes spices). A charcuturie board combines an assortment of charcuterie meats, various cheeses and accompanying fruits or fruit spreads. Upon assembling and, eventually, devouring said charcuterie board, I guarantee you’ll feel so damn fancy that you’ll never eat Ritz and spray cheese again.

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We served capriccioli, salami, and prosciutto with an aged white cheddar and a slightly creamier, merlot infused goat cheese. Pears, apples, figs and grapes work well with the creamy cheese, and olives and baby pickles are nice with harder, saltier cheeses. Add crackers, a couple $8 bottles of wine, and call it a night.

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Also brie, because brie is amazing. One wheel was wrapped in prosciutto and bacon, and the other slathered with fig and blueberry compote. Did I mention that brie is amazing????

So try this. Really. Costco has a surprisingly great selection, and Hy-Vee is pretty close to top notch. Oh, and Aldi has wheels of brie for $2.99 (you’re welcome).

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Yeah, drool about it.

 

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New Things I’ve Done So Far In 2015

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~Maddy~

So we’re not even a week into 2015, and everyone is working on their New Year’s resolutions.

Meaning the gym is going to be packed for the remaining three weeks of January.

There will be kale shakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Your Facebook feed will be covered with motivational memes of the 60% drippy abs 40% Nike variety.

And while it will be a very, very jolly time watching Netflix on my sofa while all this business goes down, I feel bound to admit that I’ve got a wee case of the New Year’s spirit myself. In the past six days, for instance, I’ve done the following spanky new and oh so exciting things:

1. Learned to Snowshoe

It wasn’t as hard as one would expect, although it’s probably more difficult if you don’t have the promise of coffee afterwards awaiting on the horizon like I did.

Check out our legitimate snowshoeing gear #commit
Look at our legitimate snowshoeing gear! #commit

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Dad and I enjoyed ourselves, clearly.
Dad and I enjoyed ourselves, clearly.

2. Made (and ate) Plantain Pancakes

My mother has an autoimmune disease and  lot of food sensitivities, so funky, grain-free foods are pretty common in our household. However, I’d never tried plantains before this morning, and they made for surprisingly tasty pancakes.

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Just be aware that green plantains are NOT yummy raw, and smell like a cross between an unripe banana and a thousand stalks of celery before they’re cooked. Recipe here.

3. Dyed My Hair ***DISCLAIMER: There are selfies in this post***

Dyed it pink, to be exact. Also sorry for the selfies, but I couldn’t think of another way to get an accurate pic of the color change.

Before
Before

annnnnddddduhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……..

After!
After!

I love it so far, but it’s a bloody mess. I mean literally, it bleeds on everything when it’s wet. My fingernails are permanently fuchsia.

4. Saw “Into the Woods”

Apparently, despite several people’s insistence that they’d informed me, I managed to make it into my seat in the movie theater completely unaware that I was about to watch a musical. Unexpected bonuses are the best bonuses, no?

(Excuse the quality of this, it’s the only video version available on the Internet as of late, and the song is two billion times better if you can see it)

5. Learned How To Arm Knit

Tough initially, but after a couple of tries I picked it up fairly quickly and managed to crank out a couple of scarves in less than an hour. I love knitting, but instant gratification is just so….well, gratifying.

I used a 5.29 oz yarn in the most fantastic bubblegummy pink, but you can obviously do whatever the heck you want with your yarn choice, color and size wise. The tutorial I used is available here.

It's kind of a giant scarf.
It’s kind of a giant scarf.
But very cozy :3
But very cozy :3

So the idea I’m repping here is that you don’t need to stress the new year and all those grand personal improvements you’ve resolved to make. Change will happen on its own and you’ll find yourself trying new things before you even realize it, so there’s no reason to stress. Baby steps, my friends. Baby steps.

Oh, and happy 2015 everyone!

Christmas Cookies So Cute You’ll Gag Before You Eat A Single One

~Maddy~

Christmas equals the season of endless temptations for me, temptations that I’m pretty shoddy at resisting.

Nom.
Nom.

Real shoddy.

Nom nom nom
Nom nom nom

Like I’ve stopped trying at this point.

Every year I tell myself I shouldn’t hand out gifties two weeks before Christmas (but I do), I can’t buy any more presents for the cat (yeeeaaaaah, I do) and I won’t eat a 32nd peppermint truffle Hershey kiss (I totally freaking do).

So, as you can imagine, Christmas goodies are kind of a huge weak spot for me. Needless to say, you’d imagine 100% correctly: this month alone the Curly Girl crew has baked and decorated 200 (at least) cut out sugar cookies, distributing some and devouring most. I have the cavities and the back fat to prove it.

Anyways, in the spirit of the season of overindulgence and gluttony, here are 25 of the most disgustingly adorable Christmas goodies we could find on the internet in the past hour.

1. These Gorgeous, Tiffany’s Approved Sugar Cookies

These cookies are more attractive than I am :(
These cookies are more attractive than I am 😦

2. These Over-The-Top Christmas Bell Cookies

Feeling insufficient yet, Grandma?
Feeling insufficient yet, Grandma?

3. These Floral-looking Mint Meringue Cookies

Meringues are low fat...so I can eat twenty, right?
Meringues are low fat…so I can eat twenty, right?

4. These Penguin Macarons That Are Cuter Than a Kitten in Mittens

OMFG THEIR LITTLE FACES!!!
OMFG THEIR LITTLE FACES!!!

5. These Cookies That Tell Frosty’s Story

He died, kids.
He died, kids.

6. Noshable Ugly Christmas Sweater Cookies

YES TO ALL.
YES TO ALL.

7. Or Ugly Hanukkah Sweater Cookies!

Shalom.
Shalom.

8. Gingerbread House Cookies Literally Too Cute To Eat

Dear Lord someone make tiny gingerbread people to match.
Dear Lord someone make tiny gingerbread people to match.

9. Cookies That Are Cute As A….You Can Guess

The pun was too easy, couldn't do it.
The pun was too easy, couldn’t do it.

10. Sleepy Santa/Gnome/Hobo Cookies

Frost won't be the only thing nipping at those wee noses :D
Frost won’t be the only thing nipping at those wee noses 😀

11. Cookies For The Canine Fanatic 

Maybe don't eat these in front of Fido?
Maybe don’t eat these in front of Fido?

12. Disney’s Over-the-top Gingerbread House That I Want To Live In

Bet it comes complete with a matching, cannibalistic witch.
Knowing Disney, it probably comes complete with a matching, cannibalistic witch.

13. Cookies Worth Melting For

If you don't love Frozen we can't be friends.
If you don’t love Frozen we can’t be friends.

14. These Crunchy Chocolate Pinecone Cookies

Fun game: mix in real pinecones with these and see how many get eaten.
Thought they were real for like ten full minutes.

15. Mouse Christmas Cookies That Look Like Cat Toys

Creepy AND cute.
Creepy AND cute.

16. Christmas Tree Brownies, Because Variety/Spice/Yadayada 

Brownies are timeless: remember this.
Brownies are timeless: remember this.

17. Reindeer Cookies Involving Neither Pretzels Nor Oreos

No Nutter Butters either.
No Nutter Butters either.

18. Cookies To Pair With Hot Cocoa

16x9
Could use mini marshmallows instead of “whipped cream”, no?

19. These Lovely Stained Glass Christmas Cookies

With fancy marbling!
With fancy marbling!

20. Or These Ones…

Look shatter proof to me...
Almost don’t look edible.

21. Or These

They're just really pretty, okay???
They’re just really pretty, okay???

22. The Pizzelle, Aka A Snowflake You Can Bite

sunburst_pizzelle
For a touch of Italy in your Christmas.

23. Mistletoe Cookies (Kisses Included)

Now if only they came with a man...
Now if only they came with a man…

24. Harry Potter Christmas Cookies (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!)

Because we all secretly want to spend the holidays at Hogwarts.
Because we all secretly want to spend the holidays at Hogwarts.

25. Killer “Joel The Lump Of Coal” Cookies, A Curly Girl Original!

Shine bright like a diamond little guys.

So that’s it folks, enough cutesy goodies to rot your gums and give you a raging case of type two diabetes. We wish you all a Happy Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice etc. etc. etc. Have a very merry politically correct holiday season!

Halloween Was Bomb/Hello, World!

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Goodbyes are tough, but hellos are just as hard, in our humble opinion. After all, first impressions can determine whether or not someone will become your new best pal or, as is more likely in our case, think we’re total loonies and run screaming in the opposite direction. Plus there is just so much to say, and there’s no bloody way we could possibly narrow it down to the 2-3 brief paragraphs you’ve got time to read! So instead of trying to come up with some sort of clever introductory post, we thought we’d give you guys a peek at what our apartment looked like for our first annual Halloween party (just now decided to make it a tradition, fyi). That way, if you run off screaming we can console ourselves with the fact that this was a Halloween post, and therefore ought to insight some form of terror in the heart of its beholder.

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“Poison” candy apples (while not fatal, they will turn your poop black and probably give you cavities. YUM.)
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Seriously, how cute are these angry little guys? SO CUTE RIGHT?! SO CUTE.
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Paying homage to school and city with a pumpkin barfing spinach artichoke dip. It was warm, and it was yummy.

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Most of the decorations are DIY and all of the treats are homemade, because well, Pinterest.  Needless to say, it was pretty awesome for something thrown by a trio of perpetually underfunded college students, and we’re happy with how it turned out. How did you all celebrate Halloween? Give us all the scary, sordid details!

*Photo Cred goes to Kristin Garcia, dear friend and total babe.