Cats tend to get a bad rap for supposedly hating Christmas, which I don’t 100% agree with.
Really, I don’t think they hate Christmas.
Of course, I don’t expect those of you who have never owned cats to fully appreciate and understand the hellbound spiral their already sporadic moods take this time of year. They honest to goodness have a legitimate reason to be so grouchy.
And the reason isn’t that they’re all furry little Grinches.
Cats don’t mind the tree and the stockings and the presents, not a bit. Quite the contrary in fact, as all of these things make for some wonderful, destructive entertainment.
No, my friend, it is not these festive trimmings or even the celebration itself that cats can’t stand.
It’s the humans.
There’s big ones, little ones, tall ones, short ones, loud ones, quiet ones, fat ones, bony ones and they all want to embrace the merriment by either
A. Petting/holding/playing with the cat
B. Taking festive photos of the cat
C. Dressing the cat up in humiliating Christmas themed attire
All of which the cats are decidedly averse to, and therefore act especially peevish. But let me be perfectly clear. IT IS NOT CHRISTMAS.
But more specifically you.
Especially if you have dogs or children.
And the cats have just about had it.
This is why they insist on being so contrary, ripping up those presents all wrapped with care, eating the Christmas tree and so on.
Also cats are little assholes.
But that’s part of the appeal right? So, here as a cautionary tale AND for your viewing pleasure arrrrrre…..
50 Cats Who Want You To Take Your Christmas Cheer And Shove It
1-3. These Reluctant Reindeer Cats That Want To Trample You AND Grandma
4-7. Some Of Santa’s Helpers Who Will Happily Rip Out Your Spleen
8-20. These Santa Cats Who Would Burn Down Your House With The Coal They Gave You For Christmas
21-25. A Clowder of Cats In Sweaters That Wish You Were Dead
26. This Cat Who Hopes All 8 Days Of Your Hanukkah Suck
27-33. Some Unfortunate Kitties That Got Too Involved In The Decorating Process
34-40. Cats Whose Feline Fury Rains Down Upon You And Your Christmas Tree
40-45. These Cats With Unidentified Seasonal Accessories
46-48. Three Cats Subjected To Cruel And Unusual Portraiture
49. A Kitty Who Doesn’t Appreciate His Present
50. This Fluffy Cat Whose Total Lack Of Enthusiasm For Christmas Is Inspiring
Allow me to offer a word for the wise this Christmas: go eat your cookies and don your ugly sweaters elsewhere, and leave the cat in peace. You may just live to see the New Year.
Christmas equals the season of endless temptations for me, temptations that I’m pretty shoddy at resisting.
Like I’ve stopped trying at this point.
Every year I tell myself I shouldn’t hand out gifties two weeks before Christmas (but I do), I can’t buy any more presents for the cat (yeeeaaaaah, I do) and I won’t eat a 32nd peppermint truffle Hershey kiss (I totally freaking do).
So, as you can imagine, Christmas goodies are kind of a huge weak spot for me. Needless to say, you’d imagine 100% correctly: this month alone the Curly Girl crew has baked and decorated 200 (at least) cut out sugar cookies, distributing some and devouring most. I have the cavities and the back fat to prove it.
Anyways, in the spirit of the season of overindulgence and gluttony, here are 25 of the most disgustingly adorable Christmas goodies we could find on the internet in the past hour.
1. These Gorgeous, Tiffany’s Approved Sugar Cookies
2. These Over-The-Top Christmas Bell Cookies
3. These Floral-looking Mint Meringue Cookies
4. These Penguin Macarons That Are Cuter Than a Kitten in Mittens
5. These Cookies That Tell Frosty’s Story
6. Noshable Ugly Christmas Sweater Cookies
7. Or Ugly Hanukkah Sweater Cookies!
9. Cookies That Are Cute As A….You Can Guess
10. Sleepy Santa/Gnome/Hobo Cookies
11. Cookies For The Canine Fanatic
12. Disney’s Over-the-top Gingerbread House That I Want To Live In
13. Cookies Worth Melting For
14. These Crunchy Chocolate Pinecone Cookies
15. Mouse Christmas Cookies That Look Like Cat Toys
16. Christmas Tree Brownies, Because Variety/Spice/Yadayada
17. Reindeer Cookies Involving Neither Pretzels Nor Oreos
18. Cookies To Pair With Hot Cocoa
19. These Lovely Stained Glass Christmas Cookies
20. Or These Ones…
21. Or These
22. The Pizzelle, Aka A Snowflake You Can Bite
23. Mistletoe Cookies (Kisses Included)
24. Harry Potter Christmas Cookies (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!)
25. Killer “Joel The Lump Of Coal” Cookies, A Curly Girl Original!
So that’s it folks, enough cutesy goodies to rot your gums and give you a raging case of type two diabetes. We wish you all a Happy Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice etc. etc. etc. Have a very merry politically correct holiday season!